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Does money bring happiness - status anxiety
Hello all. My name is Zed Berlin and I just joined up to MoneyConfessions. I uploaded a heap of videos on Status Anxiety for you folks. View Videos.
Although this is a forum about money, I thought I should bring up the popular topic of how much money is enough? Does having loads of money make us happier?
These videos are based on a popular concept called Status Anxiety. The basic idea behind Status Anxiety is that money won't make us any happier as long as our friends, family and those around us are as wealthy or, worse, wealthier than ourselves. If our immediately circle of friends own bigger houses, more luxurious cars and nicer clothes - then on the whole we will be rather miserable (regardless of how much money we actually have).
The reason for this is that we judge our position in life - our achievements, and our bank balance - on how much they differ from those around us. We don't view money in absolute terms. We don't think 'well I earn $65,000 a year and that means that I can afford to eat out once a week and send my kids to private school. How great is that.' We think, well I earn $65,000, but the guy sitting next to me at work earns $80,000 and my best friend from high school just sold his company for a squillion.
The problem with our society today is that we think that we are equal. And in thinking that we are equal, we get upset and jealous when our friends and colleagues are (or appear) to be wealthier. It makes us feel and look bad in comparison. We get down on ourselves.
The video contrasts this scenario to society hundreds of years back; at a time where class divisions did exist and people born in the working class belonged and accepted their fate in the working class, and the same for those in the upper class. This was actually a good thing. It meant that Joe Blow didn't get down on the guy down the road who just bought up massive tracks of land, because this guy (the landowner) wasn't a point of comparison.
But today, we all think that we have equal opportunity to become successful and wealthy. And we get down on ourselves when we don't live up to our highest expectations.
But the really scary part about this scenario is that there's always someone out there (a friend, a neighbour, a golf partner) with more money than us. So can we ever feel fulfilled and happy?
Zed.
Although this is a forum about money, I thought I should bring up the popular topic of how much money is enough? Does having loads of money make us happier?
These videos are based on a popular concept called Status Anxiety. The basic idea behind Status Anxiety is that money won't make us any happier as long as our friends, family and those around us are as wealthy or, worse, wealthier than ourselves. If our immediately circle of friends own bigger houses, more luxurious cars and nicer clothes - then on the whole we will be rather miserable (regardless of how much money we actually have).
The reason for this is that we judge our position in life - our achievements, and our bank balance - on how much they differ from those around us. We don't view money in absolute terms. We don't think 'well I earn $65,000 a year and that means that I can afford to eat out once a week and send my kids to private school. How great is that.' We think, well I earn $65,000, but the guy sitting next to me at work earns $80,000 and my best friend from high school just sold his company for a squillion.
The problem with our society today is that we think that we are equal. And in thinking that we are equal, we get upset and jealous when our friends and colleagues are (or appear) to be wealthier. It makes us feel and look bad in comparison. We get down on ourselves.
The video contrasts this scenario to society hundreds of years back; at a time where class divisions did exist and people born in the working class belonged and accepted their fate in the working class, and the same for those in the upper class. This was actually a good thing. It meant that Joe Blow didn't get down on the guy down the road who just bought up massive tracks of land, because this guy (the landowner) wasn't a point of comparison.
But today, we all think that we have equal opportunity to become successful and wealthy. And we get down on ourselves when we don't live up to our highest expectations.
But the really scary part about this scenario is that there's always someone out there (a friend, a neighbour, a golf partner) with more money than us. So can we ever feel fulfilled and happy?
Zed.
Views: 1
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Kylie on -
I find joy in other things, and as I said in another post, I think this helps me a lot as I don't WANT anything. I couldn't handle wanting something so badly that I couldn't wait for it.
In life there is always someone prettier, smarter, fitter, richer ...It is my choice if I am going to be consumed by jealousy, or if I choose to send my time enjoying my life.
You are sitting in your house and say you take the house for granted and don't appreciate it any more, it's not the biggest flashiest house, of course there is bigger and better out there, there are also smaller, uglier houses out there.
Imagine for a moment that your house was gone (either magically or fire, flood...whatever), how much would you want your mundane, unexciting, unappreciated house back now?
Enjoy what you have, your rich friends/neighbours could also lose everything tomorrow.
Also people that you may think have a lot quite often have a lot of debt.
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Permalink Reply by Miffy on -
Yes, this is true Kylie - they often do have a lot of debt and therefore more stress. They also have their own set of "Joneses" to keep up with.
I read the book by Alain de Botton (who is the one presenting the videos) that sparked this series and it was a great read (you can pick up a second-hand copy from Amazon). I think Australians are well an truly in the grip of status anxiety, and this is well worth reading - it certainly made me change my spending habits and analyse why I do what I do. Or should I say, why I do what the marketers tell me what to do...
Miffy
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Permalink Reply by PJF on -
Hi Zed,
Welcome to Money Confessions.
From what I’ve gathered through reading a number of posts here I think that the majority of contributors would agree that money isn’t the source of happiness.
But you’ve got to admit that having money is better than not.. Money gives choice.
I believe that the problem comes when we view money as God.
What do you mean when you say that we’re not all created equal? Can you please elaborate on this?
I could list a vast number of hugely wealthy people who came from families that struggled financially.. So I’m of the opinion that we all have it in us to attain financial freedom.
I believe that the reason people compare themselves to others is not because they can’t accept that they are unequal but because they have low self esteem which leads them to feel less than - unequal - to others who have more possessions.. Money is their God.. and their criteria for judging themselves.
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Permalink Reply by Zed Berlin on -
Thanks for your welcome note PJF. 'Are we all created equal?' you ask. We are taught to believe so.
You mention that a vast number of hugely wealthy people have come from struggling families. In every society there are exceptional people, but the problem is that we all think that we can follow in their footsteps, and when we struggle to do so, we get down on ourselves. Whether it's due to luck, timing, skill, talent or whatever, not everyone can rise up the ranks. So what's the answer then? Possibly, we'd all be better off comparing our current circumstance to our ideal self rather than to those around us? We could set up an image of where we'd personally like to get to in life, given our background, education, age and so on, and then strive to achieve that, rather than constantly comparing ourselves to our friends and colleagues. Maybe that is the answer.
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Permalink Reply by Jessica on -
I don't care to compare with others. For me, money is to provide me with what I want, when I want. This isn't necessarily material things, as it can be ability to join a particular club, visit a paying gallery, going to the opera, and knowing that when I need services, eg nursing or homecleaning, etc., that I can afford it. If I know I have the resources to do that, I feel secure, and, yes, happy.
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Permalink Reply by Zed Berlin on
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Jessica, you are one of the lucky ones, not suffering from status anxiety and that's a great thing. You will be happier as a result. From your post it sounds as though you view money rather objectively...based on what it can buy you and how it can give you needed security and so on. That's the perfect way to view money. But others, I fear, view money relatively...based on how their pay packet stacks up compared to their friends. And this is the bad way to view money. This will only make us unhappy.
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Permalink Reply by jacquesk on -
Money doesn't buy happiness but it will allow you to purchase some pretty good placebos. :-)
A tenet of Buddhism is that desire is the cause of all suffering and that the way to eliminate suffering is to control or eliminate desire. In the context of the current question it doesn't matter how much money you do or do not have if your desires are out of control you will not be happy. How much money is enough? If your desires are out of kilter then no matter how much $$ you have you will always want more.
I recommend Affluence by Clive Hamilton as a great book to read as an adjunct to Alain De Botton's Status Anxiety.
http://www.clivehamilton.net.au/cms/index.php?page=affluenza
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Permalink Reply by Miffy on
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Ahh, good old Clive. I read an article of his on CompareShares last year:
Cost of the consumer lifestyle
Jacquesk is right - Clive's book is a great read, as are all his books. If you can pick up a copy, it's well worth a read - he'll certainly make you look at things differently.
Miffy
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Permalink Reply by jacquesk on
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From Wednesdays Sydney Morning Herald. Very pertinent to this discussion and site.
http://business.smh.com.au/business/save-on-interest--you-deserve-i...
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Permalink Reply by Miffy on
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Nice find Jacquesk! So, Mr Gittens is getting a tad more philosophical as the whiskers turn grey.
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Permalink Reply by jacquesk on
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Hi Miffy it comes with the territory. Its no use having whiskers if you don't stroke them, look off into the middle distance and think profound thoughts. :-)
I believe that the idea behind all of this is that money is seen as a panacea for everything a person sees as a barrier to them being happy. If I had more money then I could and be happy.
Money *is* potential but you have to gain and realise that potential within the right context or it is a useless exercise. The reality is that happiness and achieving (long term or reasonably consistent) happiness is a way more complex issue.
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Permalink Reply by Bytta on -
If our perception about money is relative, then so is the case with happiness.
How can we measure happiness?
To measure happiness in direct correlation to money per se is incomplete, if not reckless.
When some rich folks are unhappy, people tend to think ..."oh, they're not happy because their neighbours are richer... or they are insecure even though they are rich". This is a more common case of thinking.
All the while they could be unhappy because their parents are sick, or their kids are in trouble.
This is to show that we think about money A LOT and we relate it to almost all aspects of our life. Yet people like to deny this.
The only difference for people is how we let money affect our lives.
Money in itself is an inert object.
I read this thorough research about Australians Wellbeing. I forgot who the conductor is. I think this is a better indicator to gauge the happiness level of a nation.
They include things like wealth, health, security, education, happiness, etc.
And guess what, the research shows that our wellbeing is at around 72 out of 100.
Not too bad, huh?
Ps. IMHO the desire and "anxiety" to be rich is what makes me happy :)
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